April 2, 2008

Creepy Man


I'm in Phoenix for a couple of days for a convention. Tonight, after we got to the hotel, I thought I'd get a little exercise by going down and swimming in the pool for a little bit. In the hot tub next to the pool was a group of about six or seven twenty-something girls. Besides them, there was no one else in the pool area.

My first thought was that the girls are probably thinking to themselves, "Oh great, here comes this hairy fat creepy man down to the pool, putting a damper on our young girl style". But, when I was getting into the pool, one girl shouts to the other, "Hey, are your boobs real or fake? Didn't you get a boob job?" Then, they all proceeded into a conversation where they demanded to see each others' "boobs", and talked about who had the best set. Then, they went on to discuss which boy celebrities they thought were the cutest.

This whole time, I was getting pretty upset because not only did they not think of me as a creepy man, but they were apparently not thinking of me as a man in their presence at all. I was dismayed that they weren't at all threatened by me. I have to concede that at least part of me would rather be regarded as a pervert than not be regarded at all.

5 comments:

Cheeth said...

I was reading too fast, and I thought for a moment that one of the girls was asking if your boobs were real or fake, which would have been really funny. Then I remembered your running ways, and also figured that you would have not had time to grow prodigious man-boobs since the last time I saw you with no shirt on.

The Shambles said...

You'll always be a pervert in my book.

Aaron said...

Since I've started running, my boobs have gone from a C cup to an A cup. And yes, they're real.

Captain Emus said...

Clever decision to include "boobs" in your "tags" line. It will, no doubt, increase your Google page rank an hundred fold.

Supercords said...

I thought this post would end with them asking you to try and guess which sets were real or fake, but then I remembered this was reality, and not the plot to a Van Wilder sequel.